Moving On…..

     I always thought and tried to put things in respective.The past is the past ,we must learn from it,see it for what it was,and then move on.For most of my past,I have done just that…….except for one major part that I held on to as if it was my whole reason of existence.

    I used an experience as an excuse not to live because I feared that maybe it was true.That all that it was,was somehow the true definition of myself and how others must also see me.For the last six months or so ,I began to question it ,wondering if it was indeed a fact.What I am finding out is that I was wrong.The past is just that the past,and one man’s opinion is just that……his opinion.

   I wrote NO MORE the other day.A poem that stated that I finally learned to let go of one of the major influences of my life…… best friend,first real love,and biggest heart break all in one person.Because of him, I choose never to allow anyone near my heart again,never trust anyone,or even be able to call anyone friend.I kept everyone at a distance in the name of self-preservation.How many people have I hurt by doing this?It took a friend that I have now to make me see myself because they are the exact same way.

    A few months ago, I decided that maybe I should look into dating again.Man, is it difficult to do. Twenty years ago, the world was a different place.I often feel like I’m in the twilight zone.The people look at things so much differently then they did in the eighties.The problem is I don’ I’m still there,stuck in a decade of White Snake,Peter Gabriel,and the motive of someone saying hello was because they wanted to know you not just to have sex.

   A new adventure awaits me in unknown territory.I hope I am not beyond hope or too naive to keep myself afloat.I think saying good-bye to Ernie completely and finally is a great start. Let the adventure begin!




~ by welcometomyworld on August 28, 2006.

2 Responses to “Moving On…..”

  1. M, sorry, I know this is not the place to put this link, but:

  2. thank you rant …..i know i’ll enjoy reading it. be blessed

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