If what ifs were rainbows, it would be raining skittles!

If what ifs were rainbows, it would be raining skittles! That is the thing about “WHAT IF”. We spend most of our life saying that one little phase, and all it means is somewhere along the way we made a life changing mistake or decision or something unpleasant happened to us. We use what if to explain against the unpleasantness of life and to talk ourselves out of something we really would want to do. Either way we are making life changing decisions based on a fantasy.Shouldn’t we just accept the choices and move on?

I think so. I have played this same game many times myself. It usually just meant that either fear had me in its grip or I wanted to blame something else for my mistakes. As an adult, I try to take responsibility for my actions, but as a child I often tried to find the reason to why bad things happened. I often thought what if I was born as someone else then I would be happy. I would feel safe, secure, and loved. By thinking this, I felt a little better living in my fantasy therefore being able to escape the life I actually had.

People play this game for all kinds of reasons.Here are two  examples of  what if’s that most people play:

1.What if she did not let little Foo-Foo off their leash, he wouldn’t have been hit by the car.  He would be safe and chasing balls if he was not set loose to run. The person who owned  little Foo-Foo now blames herself for harming her dog and playing the what if game somehow makes her feel better.

2.What if could be used to foresee the end result of something therefore making a decision more logical or illogical. What if  I decided to go see an old friend, would she want to start to hang out again or would she decide she did not like me anymore. This kind of what if could make me not want to decide to do something because the outcome wouldn’t be in my favor. Then again, she might decide I am still the person I use to be, and hanging out again would be a great idea. I would probably not meet her because the fear of being rejected would over power me.

 These two examples are the most common ones I have heard. Either of them affects the person in ways that can change their present day lives.I think it is funny that no matter how many times we make decisions we almost always second guess ourselves. Therefore giving the what ifs more creditability and applications in our every day lives. What do you think would happen if those two little words would disappear out of our vocabulary? Would we just make up more phases to do the same thing? I believe we would because we will always feel the need to put words to mistakes,choices, and fantasies and dream of ways to deal with the consequences. 

The what if game is really an awful game to play but here to stay!

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~ by welcometomyworld on August 12, 2011.

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